Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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