I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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