I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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