If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize