she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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