I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We had to coat check the pizza.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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