Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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