it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
