Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
bring money and cleavage
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
