I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
