I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
