Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it's great music for shaving your balls
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
