Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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