MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
