I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
