I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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