Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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