I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
