Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
only you would photoshop your dick
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
