xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
