i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize