you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
