i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
