she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
