is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just googled if crying burns calories
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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