I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
