Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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