So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize