I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
