I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Randomize
