can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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