Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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