I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
