my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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