sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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