so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Farmville is her only friend.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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