He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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