you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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