I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
