remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize