When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
