Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This baby is an asshole
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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