i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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