Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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