Define "chronic" masturbator.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
