U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
