Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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