i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
