You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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