Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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