i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
