U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
