I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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