We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
