I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
