wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize