I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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