If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
