Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize