So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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