just come out here and I will go home with you...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Boobs are out for the taking
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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