u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
