Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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