You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
