you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I love you. Go after that dick
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
