It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
