But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
