She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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