she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
