She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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