physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
