I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
