Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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