I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
