I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize