He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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